Sunday, July 22, 2012

Journey at the Movies - 2012 - "Bully-Taking a Stand"


Journey at the Movies 2012
“Bully” – Taking a Stand
based on a sermon preached at Journey United Church of Christ on Sunday, July 22, 2012

Every summer Journey “goes to the movies” with a worship series that invites us to look at current films from a faith perspective.  While folks are not required to see the movie in advance, they are encouraged to see it if at all possible.  The worship services includes an intro to the movie, related scripture, video clips from the movie to help us make the connection and a message that brings it all together.  Our thanks to www.christinculture.com and www.holllywoodJesus.com for their insights. 

This year we launched our series with the documentary “Bully” as we reflected on what it means for each of us to “take a stand” for those who have no voice and no power.  Two additional websites – www.thebullyproject.com and www.loveislouder.com - were used for statistics, definitions and other movie information.  Both sides have additional resources that help us understand how we can address bullying in our world.  The video clips used in worship can be found at www.wingclips.com and www.youtube.com

Introduction to the Movie
(from “A Guide to the Film Bully: Fostering Empathy and Action in Schools, www.thebullyproject.com)
Over 13 million American kids will be bullied this year, making it the most common form of violence experienced by young people in the nation.

The documentary film BULLY puts viewers in the midst of this startling statistic. It offers an intimate, some-times unflinching look at how bullying has touched five kids and their families. At its heart are those with huge stakes in this issue whose stories each represent a different facet of America’s bullying crisis. It opens a window onto the pained and often endangered lives of bullied kids, revealing a problem that transcends geographic, racial, ethnic and economic borders. 
It documents the responses of teachers and administrators inviting us to see beyond the “kids will be kids” clichés, and it captures a growing movement among parents and youths to change how bullying is handled in schools, in communities and in society as a whole.

Today, as we launch our series “Journey at the Movies” we’re going to look at the world of bullying today and compare it with Jesus’ reaction to a moment of bullying he encountered in hopes that we can gather some tolls that will enable us to move from “bystanders” to “upstanders”

First, a look at the movie through the official trailer …
Bully Official Trailer #1 - Weinstein Company Movie (2012) HD

READING FOR THE DAY:  John 8:1-11 (TEV)
Unlike the movie, The Bible doesn’t contain any stories that us draw us directly into the life of bullying.  There are very few stories about Jesus’ own childhood or teen years so we can’t go directly to the gospel account and see Jesus responding to bullies in his own life.  But that doesn’t mean the answers aren’t there.  I invite you to listen to our reading for today as we discover how Jesus defends another against the attacks of her bullies. 

Everyone went home, but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
Early the next morning he went back to the Temple. All the people gathered around him, and he sat down and began to teach them.
The teachers of the Law and the Pharisees brought in a woman who had been caught committing adultery, and they made her stand before them all.
"Teacher," they said to Jesus, "this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. In our Law Moses commanded that such a woman must be stoned to death. Now, what do you say?" They said this to trap Jesus, so that they could accuse him. But he bent over and wrote on the ground with his finger.
As they stood there asking him questions, he straightened up and said to them, "Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone at her."
Then he bent over again and wrote on the ground.
When they heard this, they all left, one by one, the older ones first. Jesus was left alone, with the woman still standing there.
He straightened up and said to her, "Where are they? Is there no one left to condemn you?"
"No one, sir," she answered. "Well, then," Jesus said, "I do not condemn you either. Go, but do not sin again."

The Message of the Day:  “From Bystanders to Upstanders”

Most likely when I throw out the word “bully”, a certain image comes to your mind.  It may be the image of that boy in the 4th grade who made your life a living hell; it may be that group of teenage girls who won’t leave your own daughter alone; it may be the image of someone you know or maybe the image conjured up in your imagination.  The images of bullies may be as broad as the number of bullies themselves; each one is a little unique in their own special way.

So, as we dive more deeply into the issue of bullies and bullying, I think it’s important that I we first understand more fully what we’re talking about when we use the so let’s start with a definition provided for us by “The Bully Project”

Bullying involves an individual or a group repeatedly harming another person—physically (e.g. punching or pushing), verbally (e.g. teasing or name-calling), or socially (e.g. ostracizing or spreading hurtful rumors).

We also know that sometimes these harmful actions are plainly visible, but other times, such as when gossip and rumors are used to ostracize the target, the actions are covert.  Bullying often does not happen in an isolated context with a single tormentor and victim. There may be multiple bullies or multiple victims.

But regardless of the type of bullying, there are almost always peers, adults, and other community members who know about the bullying taking place. With all the levels of involvement by peers, parents, teachers and administrators, you’d think it might be an problem that we can easily solve.  However, as the movie shows us, it’s not always that easy … watch this clip from the movie that invites us to witness how one teacher attempts to solve the issue … see if you can see where she goes wrong and what you might do differently …

Video Clip “Bully – Shake Hands”(from Wing Clips)

Addressing the issue of bullying is not something that can be solved easily.  It takes a wide-reaching effort that requires us to understand what is at the hert of the acts of bullying.  You see, often, the victims of bullying are socially vulnerable because they have some characteristic that makes them different from the majority. A person might be singled out because of his or race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or religious affiliation. Young people who have physical or learning disabilities are also targeted more frequently, as well as students who are on the autism spectrum. Regardless of the reason, the person being bullied does not know how or does not have the power to make it stop.  We simply cannot snap our fingers and make it go away.  There is no magic wand we can wave to make it all disappear.  In many ways, the act of bullying is tied directly to social issues that we’ve struggled with for a good long time. 

Look at the stories found in the lives of those documented in the movie (from “The Bully Project”).

Alex, 12
For 12-year-old Alex of Sioux City, Iowa, the slurs, curses and threats begin before he even boards the school bus. A sweet-natured kid just starting middle school and wanting more than anything to fit in, Alex assures his worried parents that the kids who taunt and hit him are only “messing with him.” But bullying has trailed Alex thorough life like a shadow, and as his seventh grade year unfolds, the bullying only escalates.

Kelby, 16
Since 16-year-old Kelby came out as a lesbian, she and her family have been treated as pariahs in their small town of Tuttle, Oklahoma. The onetime all-star athlete, Kelby has faced an outpouring of hatred from classmates as well as teachers, and has been forced to leave her sports teams by attacks. Refusing her parents’ offers to leave Tuttle, the gutsy teenager is bolstered by her adoring girlfriend and a few staunch friends, resolving to stay in her town and change a few minds.

Ja’Meya, 14
In Yazoo County, Mississippi, 14-year-old Ja’Meya was picked on every morning and afternoon of the hour-long bus ride between home and school. On the morning of September 1st, the quiet, unassuming girl had had enough and brandished a loaded handgun she’d taken from her mother’s closet to scare off her tormentors. Incarcerated in a juvenile detention facility and charged with multiple felony counts, Ja’Meya fearfully awaits the outcome of her case, supported by her loving mother.

David and Tina Long
In October 2009, 17-year-old Tyler Long of Murray County, Georgia, hanged himself after years of abuse at the hands of his classmates and indifference from school officials. As his parents, David and Tina Long, mourn the loss of the son they tried to protect, and demand accountability from the school that failed him so miserably, his death has sparked a war in a community forced to face its bullying demons.

Kirk and Laura Smalley
Following the bullying-related suicide of their 11 year-old son, Kirk and Laura Smalley are determined to prevent other children from suffering Ty’s fate. As schools around the country prepare for the start of a new academic year, Kirk launches an anti-bullying organization, Stand for the Silent, coordinating a series of vigils that underscore the high stakes of America’s bullying crisis.

These stories help us understand that it’s not easy.  The stories of these students and parents are interwoven with complex issues that are difficult to understand.  And the movie, unlike other documentaries, provides very little narration, very little critique and very little commentary on the scenes that unfold.  Instead, the viewer is presented with the carefully woven together real life stories and then asked to come to their own conclusions.

In some ways it’s not that complicated.  I don’t think any of us, whether we’ve seen the film or not, are going to defend bullying.  It’s wrong! But I believe the producers of the film ask us to go further – to not stop at simply labeling it as destructive behavior; the producers are quite clear that they made the film as a call to action.  To not only help us recognize the staggering numbers of victims being bullied ... to not only help us see the devastating effects … but to be moved to do something about it.

So what are we to do?  What action can we take?

Enter the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. No, it’s not teenagers ostracizing or attacking one another; there’s no school bus or gym class… but there are bullies.  Bullies who find a woman whom they are ready to condemn and stone in his presence … and indeed they seem to be asking him to “join in”.  We are told that it’s a trick – they are indeed setting him up to be bullied later on. 

So, what does Jesus do? Jesus not only refuses to join in; he takes a stand to protect the woman from her attackers; he is the one who prevents the abuse and in essence saves her very life.  Jesus shows us that love is louder than hate; Jesus shows us how, in the words of “The Bully Project” -  to move from being a bystander to an upstander…. And in doing so, he’s model for us today as we respond to the bullying in our time and in our place.

You see, bullying typically involves others besides the tormentor and his or her target. As I said before, other people are often aware of the bullying, and they must choose how to respond. The choice comes down to playing one of three roles: perpetrator, bystander, or upstander

Perpetrators join in the bullying, escalate the harassment, or initiate new attacks on the target later.

Bystanders attempt to remain uninvolved in the situation, often by looking on silently or finding an excuse to walk away.

Upstanders take action to oppose the bullying in some way. They might intervene directly and tell the tormentors to stop, but they need not put themselves at risk in order to be helpful. Upstanders might also respond in other ways such as making friends with the targeted student or seeking help from adults.

I would assume that most of gathered here today do not fall in the first category of being a perpetrator, but I don’t think that means we’re off the hook.  Unfortunately, I’m guessing most of us fit quite comfortably in the second category of bystanders.  There have been some interesting studies done about “bystander intervention”.  Last year, all of us who work in the office of Student Success at UAlbany participated in “bystander intervention training”.  It’s interesting to note that if one individual witnesses another individual having problems, it is highly likely that they will intervene.  If you see someone slip and fall and no one else is around, you’ll go over and attempt to help them up.  If someone is alone and looks lost and confused and no one else is around, you are more likely to ask them if they need help.  However, if a person is having trouble and a group of bystanders witness the problem, it is less likely that anyone will get involved.  The larger the group of witnesses, the less likely it is that someone will help.  Astonishing right?  It seems that in a group situation, we all assume someone else will do something; we convince ourselves that we’re off the hook.  Folks, whether we witness bullying as a individual or as a group, we need to get involved. 

It seems to me that we need to focus more on being upstanders.  We need to train our children how to be upstanders.  We need to follow Jesus’ example of getting involved – not necessarily in a fashion that meets violence with more violence.  After all, Jesus didn’t come out with his fists swinging.  He simple diverted there attention and got them to focus in a new way; he spoke out on behalf of the one being bullied and in doing so, he changed things.  Go back to the definition … “They might intervene directly and tell the tormentors to stop, but they need not put themselves at risk in order to be helpful. Upstanders might also respond in other ways such as making friends with the targeted student or seeking help from adults.”  There are many ways we can be a voice for those who have no voice; there are many ways we can empower those who feel like they have no power; there are many ways we move from bystanders to upstanders.  The point is that we move towards taking a stand. 

No one says it more elequantly and passionately than one of the parents in the documentary.  Listen as David Long invites us experience the power “one by one”…

Video Response:  ONE by ONE … from Wing Clips

May we, as Christians, follow Jesus examples as we join one by one in response the many ways we experience bullying in the world around us.  

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